Deeper Than a Handshake: When Networking Needs More Heart

The challenge isn’t that we’re not talking about human connection — it’s that we’re only talking about it in the abstract. We are seeing big changes in society because of technology, but it is also creating more loneliness and disconnection.

Everyone’s tweeting about the importance of networking, but who’s really diving into the nitty-gritty of building trust face-to-face when we’re over-scheduled and under-authentic?

Trust doesn’t form in a single LinkedIn comment or at a crowded cocktail reception. It’s shaped over time by small acts of sincerity and follow-through, not just by handshakes and hashtags.

Personal Branding

We’ve romanticized “personal brand” until it feels like a Pinterest board of buzzwords. But a brand has to live and breathe in the real world. It’s the alignment between what you say you value and how you show up when no one’s watching.

We talk about “authenticity” so much that it’s practically become an accessory, and yet we ignore those daily, gritty interactions that prove whether we walk our talk. Are you returning that phone call promptly? Following up on that introduction you promised to make? That’s where brand is truly forged.

Human Interaction (H.I.)

We’re drifting into a world where “connection” can mean accumulating followers we’ll never meet. In truth, the power of any network comes from the depth of the relationships within it. We need to embrace human interaction (H.I.) in and A.I. driven world.

Surface-level contact — swapping business cards or glancing at each other’s profiles — won’t push you or your career forward. The network that matters is the one where people know your story, stand by your side, and trust that when they pass your name along, you’ll represent them well.

Community, Collaboration, and Conversations

The unspoken crisis? We’re not setting aside time for real dialogue. We’re spread thin by pings, tweets, emails, and endless conference calls, making it too easy to forget that trust flourishes best over long lunches or post-event chats — any place where you’re genuinely present with another human being. You can’t outsource presence, and you sure can’t expedite the time required for trust to take root. If we embrace community, collaboration, and conversations we set ourselves apart in a crowded world of likes, links, shares, and follows.

I Want It Now

Another point that’s off the radar: how uncomfortable it feels to invest in a relationship without an immediate payoff. People are accustomed to leading with “What’s in it for me?”, but networking doesn’t work that way. It takes time to build relationships that provide value. We’re hungry for results now, so we often skip nurturing connections that won’t yield quick wins. Yet, some of the most impactful relationships in your life will be the ones you grow slowly — through a series of small, meaningful touches. When you take the time to see the whole person and not just what they can do for you, trust moves from a veneer to a foundation.

Vulnerability

We also tiptoe around the vulnerability required to build strong bonds. Let’s say you attend an industry event. It’s easy to waltz in, hand out cards, and chat about the local sports team. But real networking calls for leaning in past the first ten seconds and sharing who you are beyond your job title. Yes, you risk rejection or awkward moments. But that’s the price of genuine connections. The best friendships, business or otherwise, come from opening up about challenges, celebrating wins, and finding common ground that isn’t always obvious on a résumé.

Cool Things My Friends Do

We’re missing the chance to double-down on recognition. If you want to raise your personal brand or strengthen your network, start shining a spotlight on other people’s accomplishments, not just your own. We live in a world where few people ever mention others in their social media. I began highlighting friends in a weekly post called “Cool Things My Friends Do”, and go out of my way to draw attention to someone with a key project. A quick shout-out can change someone’s day, or even their trajectory. We talk about gratitude in a fuzzy, abstract way, but rarely about how it builds loyalty that can’t be faked or forced. Acknowledging someone’s good work reminds them that they matter, that they’re seen, and that their efforts carry weight in the community.

We should also talk more about the humility it takes to keep learning new ways to engage. Sometimes we assume we’ve been networking for years, so we’re experts. But new people, new industries, and new challenges require us to adapt and evolve. The best connectors I know are in constant “learning mode,” discovering fresh ways to stand out, follow up, and serve others. If you think you’ve got it all figured out, you stop growing, and your relationships stagnate right alongside.

Looking Forward

Now is the time to bring to the forefront what’s rarely said: building trust is a slow drip, not a waterfall. It demands genuine attention, willingness to be vulnerable, and an enthusiasm for championing others. That’s the kind of engagement that transcends job titles and LinkedIn endorsements. It’s deeper and messier than any highlight reel, but it’s also where the magic of human connection truly lives — and that’s the conversation we’re not having nearly enough.

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Thom Singer, CSP, is a professional keynote speaker and the CEO at the Austin Technology Council.